Funny Fortunes Disguised as Tradition

I am not a fan of tossing the bouquet. One too many weddings where I was called out by a DJ and dragged out onto the floor where I promptly dove out of the way. And that was when I had a date! Needless to say I really had no intention of incorporating that or the garter toss in our wedding. (Don't get me wrong, I think the garter thing could be some sexy fun.... if my parents weren't going to be there!!!! I just think thats weird.) And then I saw this from Martha Stewart...
*********************************************

The traditional toss bouquet, when caught, tells one lucky receiver little more than that she will be the next to wed. But this distinctive toss bouquet is made up of a cluster of smaller bouquets, each bearing its own secret fortune that offers more detailed information about future husbands to a few agile guests. And for the bride, they form a lush bouquet of blossoms.

Fortune Bouquets How-To
Separate flowers into small bouquets; you can use one variety or combine several (we used roses, calla lilies, and ranunculuses). Wrap the stems of each bunch with seam binding, securing with a bow; leave ends trailing. Prepare predictions about future husbands -- "You will marry the boy next door"; "You will marry your true love" -- for the
bouquets. Print the fortunes onto a sheet of fine paper, and cut the paper so that each fortune appears on a single strip; finish the ends in an inverted V. Use a straight pin to affix each fortune to its bouquet.

*********************************************

I think I might make them quirkier fortunes:

• You will gain admiration from your pears.
• Help! I am being held prisoner in a Chinese bakery!!
• Confucius say, man who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy.
  

=D

Can't get through a whole wedding without a little snarkiness and I certainly can't be sarcastic in my vows! ... or can I? ;-)